Every Dog Can Learn New Tricks
by twilightm00n
Summary: Every dog can learn new tricks even dense inu hanyous.  From humorous to heartwrenching, this medley of stories will show that Kagome had more of an effect on our favorite inu than we thought.  Now an in progress.
1. Fetch

Disclaimer: -attempts to run away with ownership to Inuyasha- -angry lawyers with pointy objects corner her- Uh…hi? -slumps- Oh poopie… I give up. –hands back ownership- Inuyasha doesn't belong to me…

AN: Due to a rare (but awesome) stroke of genius I figured out how to continue this story although it won't actually be like a normal one. Think of it like random scenes in Inu and Kag's relationship based on Inu's new tricks. Enjoy!

**Fetch**

_Tell me, half-breed, how much do you care for her?_

It had started with another encounter with that bastard Naraku, the way it always did. Kagome was in her own time for more of those stupid "tests" of hers and to restock on ramen. Sango and Kirara were in the old tajiya village repairing her Hirakotsu after a nasty encounter with a boar youkai. The bouzu and kitsune brat were visiting that raccoon thing in hopes of learning about a new Shikon shard. As for me? I was wandering around the outskirts of the village and resisting the urge to stay by the well like I wanted to, like I should have. Then, I caught that god-forsaken scent, making everything else fly right out of my head.

_She's such a thing of beauty is she not? So pure even after everything she has seen and done. It will be a pleasure to corrupt such a soul._

Soon after, he materialized wearing that absurd baboon pelt; his tendrils of miasma engulfing the clearing until it made me want to puke. Kami, how I wanted to use the Tetsaiga to rip him into a bunch of bloody little bits! Planning to realize this fantasy, I started towards him with a snarl, but he stopped me with just five simple words. **I know the girl's secret.**

_She will be mine, just like your former lover who now pledges her allegiance to me. Tell me, Inuyasha, how does it feel to lose __**two**__ lovers?_

A flare of overwhelming panic. 'No, he couldn't know,' I thought. But then he laughed that maniacal, cursed laugh and I knew I had thought wrong. Flames of anger pushed the panic and guilt aside. There would be time for that later, there had to be. His taunts flew in and out of my ears, fueling the rage that threatened to destroy all coherent reason left. Now at this crucial moment, I needed to keep my head clear; an impossible feat when I imagined her at his mercy. But, she was counting on me. I needed to be strong for her sake. The consequences of losing her were too much to dwell upon. I was sure I would not survive if she left me.

_Don't worry. I will be sure to put her to good use._

I readied my Tetsaiga. This son of a bitch wouldn't even _touch _Kagome. The familiar feeling of the fang's power pulsed through my veins. I called upon the Kaze no Kizu and felt a surge of satisfaction as it made a direct hit. However, it swiftly turned into horror. 'Kuso! It's a puppet!' The panic returned full force as Naraku mocked my failure.

_Fetch, hanyou, if you can._

The trees were a blur as I raced to the Bone Eaters Well; the puppet's parting words ringing in my ears. All of my thoughts were in chaos, but my youkai instincts were perfectly clear. I must protect my mate at all costs. I reached the village and passed through it with an insane agility that set the humans into a frenzy. **I had to make it.**

_You will be too late…kukukuku…_

There was the well! I launched myself into it, the purple glow of ancient magics pulling me through time itself to save the only one who mattered. I appeared in the modern world with my senses immediately assaulted by the scent of death and fire. 'No… _Kagome!_' I fairly flew out of the shed.

_Already, I have won._

A horrible sight met my eyes. The shrine was in flames, ravaged by the miasma and the youkai that Naraku commanded. But even so there was still hope. My lover was standing tall amidst the ragged remains of her home acting as a guardian to her beloved family even though she was injured. Her sapphire eyes were glazed with suffering as she drew on the strength to pull back her bow. The scent of her blood spurred me into a new fit of rage, which was only further heightened as I saw the scum that dared to hurt the one I loved. _Naraku…_ I flexed my claws as he turned towards me. No possible death would be gruesome enough or painful enough to satisfy me. Not when he had placed such a look into my Kagome's eyes.

_After all, we all know how mental anguish can make someone suffer much more than physical pain can. Don't you agree, Inuyasha?_

All I remember after that was the Tetsaiga transforming and the release of all my hatred for that bastard. When I finally came back to myself the coward was gone once again by having escaped back through the well and Kagome was almost comatose from energy exhaustion and blood loss. All of the Higurashis were injured to some extent although her little brother was the worst hit. She managed to heal them past the crisis point while I was fighting so there was no fear of any of them dying. That didn't stop me from being frantic with worry for my mate.

_I have left my mark on her. She will never be free of me, even in her dreams._

I gently cradled her in my arms and noticed a mark on her right shoulder. When I saw it I snarled with fury. It was a spider. **I would kill him.** My noise woke her up, however, and her weary blue eyes gazed at me with relief and love. She murmured my name and snuggled into my chest for comfort; whether it was for me or for her I wasn't exactly sure. I stiffened my resolve as I brought her back through the well to Kaede for healing. The mark would change nothing between us; it would only affect how much pain Naraku would get when I killed him. She and I would always be together.

_This miko is __**mine.**_

AN: Naraku is just slightly creepy in this story ne? It seems to fit his characterization though, so I'm happy. XD

**Translations:**

_Tajiya:_ A demon-slayer.

_Youkai: _A demon.

_Bouzu: _A monk like Miroku (maybe not perverted though)

_Kitsune:_ A fox-demon

_Kami:_ A god

_Kaze no Kizu:_ Literally the Scar of the Wind, this is one of Tetsaiga's attacks.

_Kuso:_ Shit

_Miko:_ A priestess with spiritual powers.


	2. Heel

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, Inuyasha does not belong to me although I have asked my parents to give me it for Christmas! Unlikely, I know, but can't blame a girl for trying!

Any flames will be reflected with my Backlash Wave right back into the flamers' faces.

_**Every Dog Can Learn New Tricks**_

_Kagome-chan, stay back!_

An all-consuming sadness. Does life really go on? Or is that just a child's fairytale meant to keep the nightmares at bay? If so it's not working…

_Hurry! Get the Tetsaiga!_

They stalk me constantly, nipping at my heels like wolves at their prey… Constant companions that will never really leave no matter how I wish they would. Darkness… Fear… Sadness… Loneliness… These are my own personal demons in the hell that is my mind and soul. With crimson-tinged eyes whose bloodlust will never be fully satiated or controlled and steel-tipped claws that are stained with the evidence of my monstrosity. Is this what it really means to be a full demon?

_No Inuyasha! You must calm yourself!_

A young woman-child with hair the color of ebony and the sacred powers of a miko. Sapphire eyes, clouded with worry and a hint of fear; fear that even then was for him only. Always for him. He did not deserve her kindness and never would.

_OSWARI!_

Next time she may not be so lucky; to only get a few scratches and bruises. Next time he may not even return to himself. Next time she could die…

_Inuyasha, are you hurt? Sango-chan kinda hit you hard there._

Yet, she would never give up no matter how many times he pushed her away with harsh words and glares. Always wearing a smile, that damn smile that broke his resolve oh so easily. The one that never let him leave her for her own safety.

_Keh._

Even he knew when to quit. Guilt aside, she was far too stubborn and he too weak against her soothing presence. At the very least, he would continue to protect her with his life from Naraku. Suddenly things don't look so grim after all…

_Kagome, I'm sorry._

_What for Inuyasha?_

A forgiving smile and a comfortable silence. Her tiny hand clenched tightly to his.

_She is my life now._

**Translations:**

_-chan:_ This usually denotes a friendly relationship in the Japanese culture. It is generally for girls, but can be used for lovers and really cute things as well.

_Oswari:_ This means "sit" in Japanese and all Inuyasha fans know what that means (Inu gets to meet his very good friend, Mr. Ground )

AN: This is my very first posting on here whoot! -Dances with glee- Reviews will be much appreciated! -puppy dog eyes-


	3. Sit

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha because I lost the ownership rights during a poker game. _No,_ it was not strip poker you perverts. –grumbles-

AN: Here's a life lesson for all of you guys out there. As for the girls, don't you wish all guys came with their own subjugation necklace? -evil grin-

**Sit**

If there is one thing to know about life it is this: _never_ insult a pregnant woman. Scratch that. It should be to _never, ever _insult a pregnant woman who can also send you slamming headfirst into the ground with a single word. Too bad Inuyasha always has to learn things the hard way. Even _Shippou_ was horrified by the carnage that Kagome wrought.

It all began with a single observation.

"_Damn, Kagome, you're getting fat."_

The rest of the shard hunters winced and subtly moved away from the unfortunate hanyou as Kagome's eyes began to spark with anger. Inuyasha, seeming to realize he had made a grievous mistake after seeing the ground smoking from barely restrained miko powers, took a step back.

"_**What**__ did you just say, Inuyasha?"_

Now just slightly panicked, Inuyasha recognized that look in his mate's eyes that had sent even Sesshomaru into quakes of terror. That look that promised dire pain to a certain hanyou- _soon._ Fingering the rosary, his ears pinned as far back as they could go, the intimidated Inuyasha attempted to avoid his fate.

"_Um, just that you're looking pleasantly plump today… Um…koi?"_

Kagome was slowly walking towards him, her fury evident in every line of her figure and her eyes sparkling with azure flames. Unnoticed by the couple, Sango was quivering with suppressed mirth, Kirara was indifferent, Shippou was watching with morbid fascination and Miroku had raised his violet gaze to the heavens in a silent plea for patience. All of them thought the same thing- that baka would _never _learn.

"_Inuyasha?" she growled out._

"_Kagome," he replied warily._

"_OSWARI!"_

The birds in the surrounding trees took flight from the force of Inuyasha striking the ground. The clearing of the campsite was clouded with dust from the impact. Kagome stood near the site of the crater for a moment, her face still flushed from anger, before she stalked off while muttering about idiotic hanyous that should learn to keep their traps shut. The rest of the group was awestruck, while unseen, the unconscious Inuyasha was twitching in his crater, the rosary still glowing from its use. Shippou was the first to break the silence.

"_I want to be __**her**__ when I grow up."_

AN: I seem to have just a little bit too much fun torturing Inu in this fic. –wicked grin- Please review!

**Translations:**

_Hanyou:_ half demon

_Miko:_ priestess

_Koi: _love (the noun)

_Baka:_ idiot or fool

_Oswari:_ sit (what else? ; ) )


	4. Play Dead

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha because Kagome would turn me into a human pincushion if I even thought about it. Oh, you mean the show? Yeah, I don't own that either. The lawyers are too good at threatening bodily harm for me to even _contemplate _trying it ;

AN: Did you ever wonder what Kagome would do if Naraku killed Inuyasha? Well, I did and you see the results before you. . V

**Play Dead**

He went down in a spray of blood, his hands clutching at the Tetsaiga fruitlessly as he saved her life yet again. His lifeblood gushed from the horrific injury as Naraku retracted his tentacle now that its purpose was achieved.

_Kagome…_

She stared at him, unable to make her mind realize what had just happened through the icy fog clouding her thoughts. It was a sharp contrast to the fiery blood splashed across her face from the attack. Naraku's triumphant cackle echoed in her ears.

_Inu…Inuyasha?_

Oblivious to the hordes of youkai swarming around her and her friends' anguished cries, Kagome knelt beside Inuyasha as she continued to stare at his wound. Only one thought managed to penetrate the miko's shattered mind. '_Why isn't he getting up?'_ She could not comprehend why this time was any different from the many other injuries her lover had received. He _always_ managed to get back up with his will renewed and anger blazing.

_Please…wake up…_

A lone voice of truth made itself known amidst Kagome's tormented thoughts, answering her mind's question without any mercy. _Because he is dead._ Suddenly, her mind cleared with crystal clarity. A chilling numbness encased her body as long dormant miko energies began to blaze around the two with deadly magenta flames. Her hair whipping into an ebony halo from the supernatural breeze, Kagome gently caressed her mate's cheek before rising up to meet his killer.

_Who will protect you now miko? All of your other companions are preoccupied with my minions and your half-breed lover is dead. You would do well to surrender while you still can._

Her voice was cold as she drew back her bow.

_Fuck off, Naraku. I will __**never**__ surrender to the likes of you._

With that said, Kagome let loose her arrow with everything she had. It blazed through every single youkai with frightening force, smashed its way even through the dark hanyou's barrier and found its new home in Naraku's chest in a far more devastating imitation of his blow to Inuyasha.

_Enjoy your stay in hell, Naraku. I hear they have a special place for bastards like you._

Purifying from the inside out and suffering from an unspeakable agony, Naraku realized that he had grossly underestimated the girl from the future. He had been careless. He had thought that she would be vulnerable without that damned hanyou. The last thing he saw was Kagome holding the fully healed Shikon no Tama as the rest of the youkai were wiped out from the force of her power. The irony of it brought a bitter chuckle to his lips that ended abruptly as the purification turned his body into ashes.

_I won't let you leave me, Inuyasha._

Kagome knew that she could save him; after all couldn't the Shikon be used for any wish? She also knew that no one else particularly needed that wish in her group. Miroku's kazana was gone since Naraku was gone as well, Kohaku has been saved by Sesshomaru with Rin's persuasion and Shippou only wanted to be her son. There was nothing to hold her back. So, the miko from the future cradled her soulmate's head in her lap, clutched at the jewel and began to pray.

_Please come back to me…_

When his hand gently cupped her cheek and she saw his molten gold eyes, Kagome wept for joy.

_Kagome, are you ok?_

Her smile outshone the sun.

_I've never been better._

And it was the God-honest truth.

**Translations:**

_Tetsaiga:_ Inu's huge sword. (How does he swing that thing?)

_Miko: _a priestess

_Youkai:_ Demon

_Hanyou:_ half demon

_Shikon no Tama:_ The bane of everyone's existence (the good guys anyway). This literally means "Jewel of Four Souls."

_Kazana:_ Miroku's own personal blackhole that came at the price of a limited life. Naraku implanted it on Miroku's grandfather because he was a perv (although crossdressing like Naraku did is just as bad).

AN: I know, I know, the Shikon wish was kinda pushing it since it couldn't be a selfish wish if it was supposed to disappear. I just had to bring Inu back somehow and I don't see Sesshomaru helping out with that :P After all, it was **play **dead. . Hope you enjoyed! Btw please review because it makes me feel loved! Next up is toilet training!


	5. Toilet Training

Disclaimer: My claim to Inuyasha is as strong as my claim to being married to Channing Tatum…oh wait, that's right, they don't exist!

AN: This takes place before Inuyasha and Kags were mates and before all of the previous chapters in this story, but I came up with it after the others and just _had_ to share it with you all. –grins- Other than that all I have to say is that this is uber crack. I am not responsible for my brain's insane ideas. (Btw I have no idea if they used chamber pots in feudal Japan, but poetic license is always good.)

**Toilet Training**

"_What the hell is this?"_

It was quite an odd occurrence. For once, while the shard hunters were taking a break and Kagome had gone home to her time, Inuyasha was not sulking. Instead, after being overcome with a fit of chivalry, the hanyou had followed the time-traveling miko to her time in order to protect her from that "pansy-ass ningen," previously known as Hojo. However, what Kagome had not counted on was Inuyasha's fascination with the technologies in her time. 'Which apparently includes toilets…' Kagome thought as she repressed the sudden urge to burst out laughing. It didn't help that Souta was gazing at his hero with a mixture of shock and amusement as he saw the object of the silver-haired hanyou's contemplation.

"_It looks like a well," Inuyasha mused as he observed the porcelain bowl and lid, "but it smells like shit," he declared. "I don't think you should use it anymore."_

Feeling faintly nauseated as she watched him sniff the air inquisitively, Kagome still appreciated the well-hidden concern she detected in his voice. However, she did **not** appreciate the task of explaining to her crush that that "well" was actually for certain bodily functions that would do well to remain unvoiced.

"_It's actually…um…well…you see Inuyasha…" the miko stammered as she looked to her little brother for aid._

"_Uh, gotta go nee-chan! See you when you leave, ne?" the coward said before he took off like the very demons of hell were after him._

'TRAITOR!' her mind screamed as she was left with the curious hanyou. Her face now a bright tomato-red, Kagome gritted her teeth and gathered up her courage. 'Come on Kagome!' she thought to herself, 'you face blood-thirsty youkai everyday! You can explain what a measly little toilet is!' With her inner cheerleader egging her on, Kagome began one of the most awkward conversations in her life (including that time when Miroku asked her about bras.)

"_Um well… Actually, Inuyasha, that isn't a well. We call it a toilet. It's like uh…" Kagome trailed off for a moment. "It's like the chamber pots in the Feudal era. You know for excrement…" she squeaked out; her face, if possible, becoming even redder._

Inuyasha, his own cheeks suspiciously pink, nodded his understanding before unceremoniously (and rapidly,) quitting the room. Kagome stood alone for a moment, glaring at the troublesome toilet that had started the whole awkward business before voicing her thoughts subconsciously.

"_You know, he's even cuter when he's embarrassed…"_

XXXX –scene change-

Souta was in his room currently basking in the success of his newest ploy. After fleeing the bathroom, the sly boy had swiftly recorded the whole mortifying incident with his cell phone. If Inuyasha hadn't been so set on escaping, he might have stopped the evil little brother's plan. As it was, Souta was dreaming about the amount of pocky his sister would have to give him in return for not showing Inuyasha her confession. He would make copies of the video as soon as she went to school.

'_Who says extortion is wrong?' he wondered._

**Translations:**

_Hanyou-_ Half-demon

_Miko- _Priestess

_Ningen- Human_

_Nee-chan- _Older sister

_Ne- _Right

_Youkai- Demon_

AN: Sorry it's been a while since I've updated, I don't really have an excuse besides my lazy disposition. Hope the giggles makes up for it! Btw, please review so I know if it's actually good!


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